Today my old university in Pretoria had a problem with nothing.
A group of non-aligned, non-Afrikaans students met up with apparently non-native students in what was meant to be a non-violent protest. However, there was much non-compliance as the violence was non-stop, and often non-verbal. But after all this non-conformism, many seem to still want the punishment to be non-custodial or even non-existent. Some students think that the university is a non-profit that can take non-contributory funds from a non-existent bank account and replace what they consider a non-traditional language to one that is far from non-colonial. Yet the other side was far from nonchalant and also ignored non-contact, using nonagenarian arguments in non-scientific ways, while the non-partisans drank non-alcoholic beverages in no-man’s-land. It ended with a manifesto that could barely pass as non-fiction, with points that were non sequiturs, all for what really is a non-issue.
If this seems like nonsense to you, join the club. You do not have to be either pro-Language transformation or pro-Afrikaans. Work together, and think for your fucking self.